Almost...But Not Quite

---Written in July 2007---

Here I am, sitting at my desk. I just concluded my part in a Patriotic presentation at the church. Immediately after a rousing patriotic song by choir and orchestra I walked down the aisle as “Super Uncle Sam,” my stilt-walking Patriotic character. From floor to the top of the hat I’m nine feet tall. I delivered a monologue about Faith, Hope and Love. I spoke about these three eternal values that have been foundational to our country. I used the “Rainbow Ropes” trick to illustrate that these three values, when adhered to in unity, will truly make us “one nation under God.” At the conclusion of my one minute monologue the crowd applauded and I began my walk up the sanctuary aisle.

Three rows from the back of the sanctuary, IT HAPPENED! The Velcro strap by my left knee popped open! Immediately I leaned to the left uncontrollably, and caught the top of the pew where a senior citizen was sitting. The elderly lady’s eyes almost popped out of her head! She didn’t know whether to defend herself, jump out of the way, or reach up and cushion my fall. The choir, which had been watching my exit, let out a loud unison gasp! All of the congregation, if they were not looking at me, were looking straight ahead at the choir, and the visual cue by the choir had to be stunning! “Awwww!”

The stilt was dangling from my foot, with no other point secured to my leg. I tried to straighten myself. I knew that I only had three rows to go and I’d be out the door. I assured the older lady that I was fine and she’d be okay. In my mind, I reasoned that if I could get the stilt parallel to the other one, I could balance on it and make it out the door. I was wrong, the stilt immediately began to tilt again and I slanted towards this poor senior saint once again. I grasped the top of the pew quickly as the entire choir once again sang out their unanimous gasp.

Instantly I said, “Alright. Don’t worry about me. I’m over 200 years old and I’m going to be okay.” The crowd cheered! I grabbed the top of the stilt through my pants leg and pulled it up against my knee. Holding it in place with my left hand, I walked through the back door out to the foyer within the next five seconds.

Wow. What an experience!

Okay, so what do I learn from this? A number of things come to mind:

1. Pride comes before a fall? Certainly, it’s important to be confident. But not to be overconfident.

2. Know my surroundings. I had not considered the fact that the sanctuary floor was at an incline. The extra tork and stress on the Velcro band caused by the angle of the stilt foot against the floor had been enough to cause the Velcro to pop apart. I should have known better. Fact is, I DID know better…but just had not taken time to think through the exit path. I simply thought I’d walk out the back door, but had not considered the necessary mechanics of leaving the room. I ALMOST had thought through everything…but not quite!

3. Prepare equipment thoroughly. Okay, here’s the true confession. I had ALMOST prepared enough…but not quite!

The day before I had walked an entire parade as a stilt-walking clown character. After strapping on my stilts for the parade I circled the straps with duct tape just to make sure that the Velcro would not pop apart. It would be a catastrophe if the stilts came loose in the middle of a street. So, I always duct tape my stilt straps.

Alright. So here is the true confession. I had not duct taped the straps before this patriotic presentation. I figured that standing in the foyer greeting people would not place enough stress on the Velcro for it to come apart. And I was right about that. But, I knew that I’d be walking in and out of the sanctuary. Without that one last extra bit of preparation, I was leaving myself at risk.

And honestly, I was leaving the positive experience at risk. Instead of the people greeting me afterwards saying, “That was wonderful. That was inspiring.” They were coming to me saying, “Are you okay?!” “You scared me.” That’s not the memory I want to leave with people, and because I had ALMOST done enough, and not totally done enough, I shared an experience and memory with people that I’d rather not have to explain for the next number of years when they come back to a patriotic program…or any other time they see someone on stilts.

I’ve decided that I will prepare more. I don’t want to have to say that I prepared “Almost enough…but not quite!”